The Bittersweet Christmas

Shay Campbell

Once again, it’s Christmastime; the season of bright lights, decorated trees, tasty treats and joyful music. It’s the season of gratitude, giving, faith and love. It’s the season we celebrate the birth of our Savior and reflect on the life he lived and the death he chose in order to reconcile us back to our Heavenly Father. It’s without a doubt, “the most wonderful time of the year.” However, it’s also 2020 and here we are attempting to celebrate this amazing season in the worst year many of us have ever experienced. As we all know, this year has been particularly hard due to the Covid-19 pandemic. People have lost family members, loved ones, jobs, and hope. Some have suffered anxiety and depression; others disappointments and let downs. I am no stranger to the frustrations of 2020. While my struggles are minuscule in comparison to those of many others, I too have been disappointed by this year.

In September, I married my very best friend. Due to the threat of the virus (and three canceled venues) we had a very small ceremony at our church with our closest family members and friends. Our day was simple, yet perfect. We are thankful for how things turned out, but in a covid-free year, we would have had a grand wedding with all of our family and friends, good food, and lots of fun. That was just not possible for us to achieve safely in a pandemic. As a bride, I was beyond disappointed to not have the day I dreamed of. However, in that struggle I learned to count my blessings and thank God for all that he was allowing to work out for us. It may not have looked how I wanted it to, but it was beautiful and I was so excited to finally marry my sweet man.

My Christmas this year will be another opportunity for me to focus on the positive in spite of disappointments. Less than 2 weeks ago, the pandemic hit our family directly, forcing us to quarantine and reevaluate how we will be spending our favorite holiday. For the first time in my 29 years, I will be not be celebrating Christmas with my family. However, for the first time ever, I will spend Christmas at home with my new husband.

Bittersweet.

This was not the plan, but here we are. The thought of not being with my family on Christmas is almost unbearable without shedding a few tears. I have never been without my family for Christmas. I don’t know anything else, but the thought of spending Christmas Day on the couch cuddled up with my hubby is wonderful (and super romantic 😉). It brings such a peace to my heart. I feel excited and sad at the same time.

Bittersweet.

So as I come to terms with this reality, I am constantly reminded of gratitude. So many people will not be with family this Christmas. Not just in an attempt to stay safe, but because they can’t. Their loved ones are gone. Their spouses are overseas. Their families don’t communicate... None of those are our reasons. I am thankful that once this passes, we can get back to spending time with our families. We will once again be able to make new memories while relying on the old ones to get us through the trying times. We can make new traditions for the current season and even go back to the old ones when the time is right. We have no reason to be sad or complain. We made it. Though this year has been difficult, we are all here to see yet another Christmas. So even in the bittersweet moments that I am sure to experience on Christmas Day, I will cuddle up next to my sweet husband and be thankful and filled with gratitude for all that the Lord has done. He has kept us all this year. For that, we give him glory and praise, and we look forward to the abundance of family time that we are sure to experience in the New Year. ✨